Oh, I just kill me!

So last night I could not sleep, and got up at 3am for the umpteenth time to wee and maybe get a glass of water (seems counter-intuitive, as one begets the other, but anyway). I put a nightlight in the hallway maybe a month ago (so I could see and avoid pitching myself down the stairs when I stumble to the bathroom in my sleep fog) and what do I spot in its nice green glow? A black spot creeping across the hall ceiling. Ok, so turn on the light real quick to check, and sure enough its a damn creepy big black spider. No way I'm going back to bed until it is dead, but its over the stairs where it can't be reached. Briefly consider going and getting the vacuum cleaner, but imagine Matt waking up to that noise and not being happy, plus I would have to walk under the spider to get downstairs anyway. Sigh. So I perch on the end of the bed and stare out at the ceiling and wait to see where the monster goes. It heads in towards the landing, slowly but surely, where I can probably reach to smack it with something. I consider my choice of weapons, settle on a shoe, and attempt to sneak up on it. Buuuuutttt....it's a little bigger than I am comfortable getting that close to and I beat a hasty retreat. So now my options are: watch it for the next 4 hours until Matt wakes up, or just wake Matt up now. Figure he can't be tooo mad at me ("in my condition" and all). Go over to Matt, tap his shoulder, he sits up, all "what, what?? What is it?" Wouldn't it be great if I could say, like in the movies, "it's time, baby's coming." But no, I say, "there's a big spider in the hall" and hand him the shoe.

Bless him, he killed it and went back to bed without a complaint.